Love is overrated.
With all the Hollywood movies and popular chick lits, love is overrated. ‘Love should be easy. Love is enough. Love should be enough. Love requires no effort. Love keeps people around. Love should fire.’
I don’t agree.
Instead, love requires work. Falling in love is easy, but love itself requires hard work. Being in love means to sign up for a full-time job. Being in love means to sign up for a roller coaster ride which the ups, downs and twists are unpredictable. One day she is your angel; another day she is your biggest pain in the ass. One day he is your hero; another day he is your biggest nemesis.
Love requires change; and change is not easy. If you used to leave the toilet seat upward, now is the time you learn how to put it down. If you used to put your towel on the bed after shower, now it’s time to put it in the service room because she wouldn’t like it. If you used to close yourself down when problems arise, now is the time to share your life with your significant other – just because she is your significant other; and that’s what significant other does: to share lives.
Love requires constant forgiveness. Forgive when you say I forgive you and really mean it. Apologize when you were wrong, saying I was wrong. I’m sorry. What can I do to make it up to you? While often times, you forget the third part. Love requires two experts in forgiving.
Love requires constant understanding: understand that she is not perfect, and neither are you. Understand that he is a hero with flaws and weaknesses. Understand that people break small promises at times, and you just have to let it go. Understand that your partner and relationship should come first – not money, work or friends. Understand that your partner could have those bad days once in a while. Understand that more often than not, she only needs you to look into her eyes, ask her about her days, and then give her the warmest hug. Understand that he would need his time to relax after work, instead of dealing with your nagging.
Love requires compromises. You win some. You lose some. Better yet, both of you win. At worst days, both of you might lose. Make sure the third one occupies most of your time. And make sure to keep the fourth one the least of your time – and then, make sure to make it up to each other.
Love requires appreciation. You used to do it all by yourself, now you have a partner. You know what your partner does? She keeps her faith in you even when you are not quite sure of yourself. He keeps his love for you even when you are not in your best days. And you know how to nourish them? Appreciate it. You might think that it is their part to do it, but remember that your partner have a choice to leave, and for the fact that s/he is still there, be grateful. For the fact that she worries for you, say smile and say thank you. For the fact that he picks you up after work, smile and say thank you. Most of the time, you only need to smile and say thank you.
So you know what, if you expect love like Hollywood movies and chick lits, forget it. You will only put yourself into the biggest disappointment in your life. And that, I guess, is the reason why people give up so easily on their love, relationship and marriage: because love is overrated. People expect too much from love. They expect a love that wouldn’t change. They expect the same spark for another 50 years. They expect the same butterflies for another 60 years, every day.
Hard work is underrated. They’d say true love is not supposed to be this hard.
Change is underrated. They’d say true love demands no change.
Forgiveness is underrated. They’d say true love makes nothing to hurt their feelings.
Understanding is underrated. They’d say true love would have nothing too hard to understand.
Compromise is underrated. They’d say true love clicks. No losing, always winning.
Appreciation is underrated. They’d say true love needs no formality.
Well, I’d say love is overrated.