My high school years were not the best years of my life.
I wasn’t the brightest student. I wasn’t the most popular. I wasn’t the prettiest. I didn’t remember if I was voted as ‘miss’ something. I even doubted my teachers remember me.
So let me tell you a glimpse of those years. As I said before, I wasn’t included in miss popular group. So my friends and I, we were with our own circle. We were not popular, but we did have a lot of fun. Yet, simple formula, the popular ones led the batch – and at one time, one of my friends and I were excluded from the batch once, or maybe twice, or maybe more. Oh well.
Eventually I survived. It was not very pleasant at that time. But thinking about it now – as I am trying hard to recall it – I couldn’t remember why we were excluded from the batch, or what did they do to us. What I remember right now is about how unpleasant those times were, how bad I felt every time I went to school, how I hated school and probably hating myself because I couldn’t fit in. I remember how people whispered around me and laughed at my face, how people made fun of my pimples (yes I did have a lot of pimples around my face in high school) and they made fun of my face (they did tell me how ugly I was to my face).
Those things that – as I look back right now – are silly. I wonder why I put so much thought into something that I could easily laugh at and just let it pass; but for a fifteen years old me, they were huge.
No. No hard feelings. It was high school. I’m totally over it. On the bright side, I also had my fun. I met my truest friends in high school.
However, here’s the thing: even though years have passed since high school, there is still hesitation to attend several high school reunions. I know for sure we are mature enough; it won’t happen again; we are all adults (and eventually, I’d love to attend the reunions). But still, there is this tinniest bit in myself that would avoid certain people – because of how they made me feel when I was in high school. Until today? Yes. Until today.
Eventually, there are only two kinds of people from the past: the ones who made you feel positively; and the ones who made you feel negatively. Then, what they said was true:
“At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”
I didn’t remember at all what they did, how they did it, what they said, how they said it, what happened, or how it happened. All I remembered was how they made me feel.
I guess it teaches me about treating people. I don’t want to be those people – that in 10 years from now – they avoid me because of how I made them feel. 10 years from now, they wouldn’t remember if I was right or they were wrong. 10 years from now, they wouldn’t remember if they were truly ugly or I was just joking. 10 years from now, they wouldn’t remember if I laughed at something really funny or I laughed at them.
10 years from now, they wouldn’t remember if they really looked nice. 10 years from now, they wouldn’t remember if their works done were really outstanding. 10 years from now, they wouldn’t remember what words I said exactly to make their days seemed a little bit brighter. 10 years from now, they wouldn’t remember why they cried and how I comfort them.
But 10 years from now, they would only remember how I made them feel.
Therefore, everyday I woke up, trying to keep this in mind. Trying to remember that this is not about how it happened or what really happened. This is about how we are feeling.